Asking for Help - Right or Wrong?

The right thing to do may be to ask for help... but why does it feel so wrong?

I think this stems back to my childhood when I would never ask anybody for help with anything. Maybe it’s down to how I was the only girl with 13 boys and I refused to ask them to help me. Even though I knew I needed help and in fact, they knew it too.

Over the years I used to just do things for myself because it was easier and I knew that if I did it, it would be done correctly. Especially when it came to my horses. It was hard for people around me seeing me struggle, doing it all on my own, but that was my choice and would still be my choice now if I could.

In my working life, I also never asked for help. If I had a problem, I would try solve it myself. Even at college, learning and doing exams - my teacher would be right in front of me and if I was stuck, I still never asked for help! Stubborn? - Possibly. Scared? - Definitely.

I then got older and realised how difficult I was making things for myself. The help was there - I should use it! Now, I no longer sit there, panicking, over-thinking, procrastinating. Now, if I don’t know what I’m doing, I ask for help and believe that there is nothing shameful in that.

However, with the horses it's different - it's harder. I have and probably always will, try to do things on my own. Probably being thrown in the deep end as a child with my Grandfather saying "you know you need to clean out the stables before you go to school girl" - My cousins and even my brother would also be there and even offering to help. To which I would always say "no, I’ll do it myself". It seemed easier for me to do it alone. It would be done right and I knew I would not get into trouble.  

So with the horses, the only person that I do ask to help, is my Poppa. I'm sure it's because he’s always been there and with did it with me or for me. As time has passed though, Poppa has gotten older and there are things he can't do now. As a result, I’ve had to change my mindset. I’ve had to pluck up enough courage to ask for help with the horses. It goes against the grain but I'm trying to be brave and do it for them. They need things to be done. And I need help.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness like I used to believe. On the contrary. It is a sign of strength. Asking for help is better than struggling. One thing my Grandfather always said...

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help and brave enough to ask for it”.

Do you ask for help? And if so, who do you ask?

Sally Turner

@boy_prince_diamond