What If the Riders You Look Up to Are Just as Scared as You?

Confidence in the equestrian world isn’t just about how we sit in the saddle. It’s about how we show up—not just for ourselves, but for those around us. Whether in competition, training, or everyday life, the energy we carry impacts more than we realise.

I’ve seen it firsthand. As a coach, as a rider, and as someone who once struggled deeply with confidence myself. I spent years looking up to those ahead of me—placing them on pedestals, believing they had something I didn’t. A special quality, a talent I could never have. What I didn’t realise then was that confidence isn’t an exclusive trait reserved for the chosen few. It’s built. And more importantly, it’s learned by example.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Doubt

I remember being that young rider, watching experienced competitors, thinking they were untouchable. That they never felt fear. That they never doubted themselves the way I did. The reality? They were just better at masking it. They carried their insecurities differently, but they still had them. And that’s something I only learned later.

Think about a student watching their trainer hesitate before a decision. A young rider overhearing their mentor say, “I’m not good enough for this level.” A competitor seeing their coach downplay their own success. Whether we realise it or not, the younger generation absorbs everything. They don’t just hear our words; they feel the energy behind them. They take our hesitation and make it their own.

What we believe about ourselves becomes the template for what they believe is possible. If we constantly downplay our abilities, apologise for our mistakes, or hesitate to take up space in the industry, we make it normal for them to do the same.

Confidence Is Not About Perfection

One of the biggest misconceptions I had growing up in this sport was that confidence came from always getting things right. That one day, I’d hit a level where I just knew I belonged. But I waited a long time for that feeling—only to realise it doesn’t come from external success. It comes from within.

Confidence isn’t about never failing. It’s about getting back up, again and again. It’s about making the mistake, adjusting, and keeping going. The best riders in the world don’t have an absence of fear or doubt—they just don’t let it dictate their actions. And that is what we need to be teaching those looking up to us.

Leading by Example—Not Perfection

If we want to make a real impact, we need to stop pretending we have it all figured out. The next generation doesn’t need flawless idols; they need real people who show up fully—fears, failures, and all. True leadership isn’t about being put on a pedestal. It’s about showing when you get it wrong, admitting when you struggle, and celebrating yourself when you get it right.

The equestrian world has a habit of idolising those at the top. But real leadership isn’t about standing above—it’s about reaching back and pulling others up with you. It’s about showing those behind you that they are just as capable, just as worthy, just as strong.

If we want to see more confident, capable riders and professionals in the future, we have to start by embodying that confidence ourselves. We have to hold the door open, encourage those coming behind us, and lead by example.

Breaking the Cycle

So, how do we shift this?

• Catch yourself in the moment. When you hesitate or second-guess yourself, ask: Would I want the next generation of equestrians to do the same? If not, change the narrative.
• Lead by example. Let them see you taking risks, backing yourself, and handling setbacks with resilience.
• Show your struggles and your wins. Confidence isn’t about being fearless—it’s about being brave enough to try, even when you’re scared.
• Celebrate yourself and others. If we only focus on what went wrong, we reinforce doubt. Take a moment to acknowledge what you did well.
• Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Confidence is contagious—choose to be around those who fuel it.
• Practice confidence daily. Speak up. Own your place. Take the opportunities that scare you.

The next time you hesitate, remember—this isn’t just about you. Your confidence (or lack of it) sets the tone for those watching.

So step up. Take the space you deserve. Show the next generation what it looks like to own your power.

Because if you won’t do it for you, do it for them.