Until Violence is No More

She was simply going for a run. In broad daylight. She was just a woman, trying to do something as ordinary as moving her body, breathing fresh air, and clearing her mind. She didn’t make it home.

I remember my sister’s voice on the phone that day. The anger. The anguish. The clarity in her demand: “Do something for women.” It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t a plea. It was an unshakable truth. Something needed to change.

Today, on White Ribbon Day, we are reminded again of the staggering scale of violence faced by women and girls, in Ireland and across the world. It’s an issue that demands not just reflection, but urgent action. This international campaign calls on men and boys to take responsibility, to break the silence, and to stand as allies in creating a world where women are safe—where the right to live without fear isn’t a privilege, but a certainty.

Let the numbers speak for themselves:

• One in four women in Ireland has experienced physical and/or sexual violence since the age of 15.
• In 2023, Women's Aid reported over 40,000 incidents of domestic abuse against women and children—the highest figure recorded in their history.
• 70% of women globally report experiencing sexual harassment in public spaces.
• One in four girls in mixed-sex schools experiences unwanted sexual touching.
• 63% of men agree that men aren’t doing enough to ensure the safety of women and girls.

These statistics are not abstract figures.

They are stories. They are lives. They are our failures as a society. They are evidence of a broken system and, perhaps more critically, a broken culture.

As Desmond Tutu once said: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” We cannot remain neutral. We cannot look away.

But let’s be clear—ending violence against women is not just a women’s issue. It’s not about women shouting louder or fighting harder for their right to exist without fear. It’s about men stepping up. It why my sister rang and asked me... it is why I was involved in setting up Equitas...

We, as men need to be do more. I as a man, must do more.

A integral part of this has to be about men having the difficult conversations, challenging toxic behaviours, and taking responsibility for the culture we create, perpetuate, and inherit.

To every man reading this: It’s not enough to say, “Not all men.” Of course, it’s not all men. But violence against women exists because of the silence of too many. It exists because we fail to confront the casual misogyny, the “jokes,” the unchecked behaviours, and the insidious belief that women’s lives, freedoms, and spaces are somehow lesser.

We can be better. We need to be better.

Let White Ribbon Day be a rallying call—not one of empty promises or fleeting outrage, but one of action. Real and tangible action.

Let it be the day we commit to listening to women and believing their stories.
Let it be the day we teach our sons that strength lies in respect, not in power.
Let it be the day we decide that the world will no longer be a place where women live in fear.

To every man, every ally, and every advocate: This is not someone else’s battle. This is ours. Every woman deserves to go for a run. To walk home. To live her life.

Because violence is not inevitable. We can't accept that. We don't accept that.

Change is possible. But only if we choose it.

“We must raise sons to respect women and daughters to expect respect.” – Unknown

Until next time,
Shane